Cold drink, hot girl

I was surprised when I got into the car yesterday morning and turned on the radio to hear the morning dj talking about FUPAs. Well, they were ACTUALLY using the term "Panis", which in the medical community is defined as "an overhanging apron of redundant, abdominal skin". Sort of like a FUPA but not quite the same. Either way, I would be mortified to have one. Could you imagine the humility? It seems that a local hospital has invested in a Panis retractor (similar to the FUPA starter slings we have in the cath lab), yet this device costs $1400 and allows the nurse or clinician access to the skin underneath the panis. Usually for cleansing purposes or possibly some sort of vaginal or pelvic exam. Of course I was picking up the phone to call in and share some stories about all the Paulding county specials with malodorous, pungent, and moist FUPAs. But I resisted as others jumped at the opportunity.

One girl was talking about her work at a nursing home where she came across a half eaten PB'nJ sandwich tucked between one of the folds of a low hanging Panis. Another man told a story of a patient brought into the ER where a remote control was found in his Panis, having gone missing just three weeks prior. I guess you never have to worry if your pants have pockets, as you always have a place to hide your keys, your wallet, or even a protein shake.