it's probably safe to say that i have had better weeks. i feel like i am just going through the motions at work. in fact, i am quite bored and find myself becoming annoyed with some of my coworkers. is it unreasonable to hold others you work with to the very same standards you strive for yourself? after all, piedmont is one of the premier heart centers in the southeast and it's time everyone starts acting like it. i really hope to make a move in '07, as i just don't ever want find myself fitting the mold of one of those single nurses from coweta county. i truly believe that there are bigger things out there for me, and sometimes i feel guilty for not pushing myself harder. i suppose it's easy to get stuck in what i would call a "comfort zone", but i know it's time to push forward. i ain't getting any younger.
then there's the boy scout. having sensed that something was wrong for the last two weeks, i finally pulled him aside this week only to find out he is really mad at me. it seems that i have been rude and mean to someone that i value as a true friend. and it has left me feeling really sad. i would never intentionally hurt someone that i care for, and my attempts to tease him were misinterpreted. and for that i am very sorry.
and finally there is Tim. the last six weeks have been great. we've spent a lot of time together, and i really did feel like things were moving forward, however, slowly. which isn't a bad thing. of course, i became a total girl on sunday night and simply posed the question "what are we doing?". it's been nearly four months, and i was simply sticking to one of the four agreements (thanks Flippy) ie: don't make assumptions. it seems that in every relationship, there is always one person that feels stronger about the other at different times. and now things are awkward and it saddens me. he is such an awesome person, and i wish he was ready to explore things further. i can feel good in knowing that i put forth an honest effort.
all of this heavy on my mind, last night i felt the need to get out and see people. so eric and i walked down to ecco for a respectable dinner and a few adult beverages. which turned into drinks back at my house with flippy and a strong showing of the junior league. then on to Whhhettt Bar where the cutest guy in the place decides to chat me up and ask me out. funny how that happens.
i hope this weekend will yield some positivity after such a trying week.