Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Way Down Under

I know, it has been a week since my last post. And I honestly do not have an excuse. I guess I could say there was nothing interesting or exciting happening in my life, but you can ask Beck-Yeah and that is definitely not the case.

which brings me to today, time for the monthly Nurse Practice Council meeting. I have come to enjoy these meeting as I get to dress up in something other than scrubs and listen to a group of women with very strong opinions argue over such stupid things as which Rectal tube will save the hospital the most money. Yuck.

As I sat there in the foundation board room this morning, listening to the council reports from each of the different areas, I realized that I had nothing to talk about. Let's see.....I could talk about the 100K lives campaign. No. I know, the new Patient Transfer device we are currently Then I remembered. I scrounged through my bad and there is was. Just last week in my team leader meeting I was given the literature on a new device that is designed to hold back FUPAs for procedures in the cath lab and interventional radiology departments. If you remember, a FUPA is a Fat Upper Pussy Area, seen frequently in our morbidly obese population. Well it seems that someone has capitalized on the idea and invented a FUPA sling if you will. According to the website, "the KangarooWeb improves femoral site access by retracting the abdominal pannus (or FUPA for the layperson, who knew there was a technical term?) away from the groin area, without the use of cumbersome tape or expensive strapping products."

The company claims that the Kangarooweb will effectively:

  • Provide secure, reliable access to the femoral crease in less than one minute. Now I know of several Paulding and Douglas County specials who will be asking if they can take this strap home for personal use. After all, they did pay for it. No more broomsticks when it comes to having sex with your partner. In less than a minute, muff diving shall commence!
  • Eliminates complications from tape and razor burn on degraded skin. This is commonly seen on moist FUPAs as the wet skin sets the patient up for yeast infections and skin breakdown. Remember to always dry your FUPA.
  • Improves patient comfort and dignity. Comfort: yes. No more stretching the FUPA with large amount of tape that can cause further skin tears. Dignity: I think not. How embarrassing would it be to have two nurses strapping your abdomen in a sling so then can get to your groin? Ick.

My favorite part of this product is the tool used to market it. The brochure shows a Kangaroo with a rather large pouch in the front, or FUPA I guess. But my favorite thing is the catch phrase: The KangarooWeb: "Helping Doctors See Down Under"! Below is a demonstration on one of our Paulding County Specials.

No comments: